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"I am further enraptured by the thought that whenever I smoke a particular cigarette, I am having essentially the same sensual experience as any other woman in the world who is smoking the same brand of cigarette at the same time that I am; we share a sort of deeply intimate bond inside our bodies that transcends all distance . . . thinking about these things drives me wild!!!"

"Virtual smoking," may not be such a bad thing. Smokers get to smoke in peace, and they don't bother the rest of us in doing so.